Gender Bender
by CoreOfMyAddiction
Summary: Patti, after being in the dark about Crona's gender for far to long, decides to take matters into her own hands. -ONESHOT-


"Damn it, Patti! What hell is wrong with you?!" Liz shouted as she shook her sister's shoulders with murderous intent. Patti squirmed and tried to pry her sister's grip off of her as she cast her eyes down in guilt.

"I just wanted-"

"It doesn't matter what you wanted! Of all the stupid, idiotic things you've done, this is by far the worst! Why would you do such a thing to _anyone, _let alone _Crona?! _As if that kid wasn't already emotionally scarred enough!"

Said "kid" was currently rocking back and forth on the floor in the corner of the room while Maka tried to calm him down. Soul was leaning on the other side of Crona, also trying to stop his panic attack with little success, while Kid and Tsubaki sent Patti disapproving looks.

"Come on Liz," Black Star said as he broke Patti out of Liz's death grip. "She didn't mean any harm! I would have done it too!" he said with a smile, as if it would ease everyone's mind knowing that he would have done it as well.

"I... I can't... I... Don't know... Can't deal..." Crona mumbled from his spot on Soul and Maka's living room floor.

All that Liz wanted was to have a nice hangout day with her friends, and it was going pretty well. They had all gone over to Soul and Maka's place to watch a movie and catch up. After a particularly gruesome scene, Crona excused himself from the room to take a break from the movie (something about not being able to deal with dismembered bodies). Liz vaguely remembers Patti saying something about the bathroom and no more than 30 seconds later, Crona's running into the room crying for Maka.

"Patti..." Maka said through clenched teeth from her spot next to Crona. "there better be a damn good reason why you did what you did. Care to explain?"

The room went silent (aside from Crona's mumbling) as everyone waited for Patti's reasoning.

"Well..." She began.

"I was confused and wanted an answer!" She let out as she stomped her foot on the ground.

"Ever since the day we met Crona everyone's called him a '_he_' and we say things like '_his_' or '_him_'. But he's so _scrawny_ and wears a _dress_, and although we think he's a boy, Ragnarok is always saying things to hint that he might be a girl!" She let out in frustration. No one in the room spoke. Even Crona stopped his break-down to listen to Patti explain herself. It was Soul who finally broke the silence.

"... You were confused about his gender... So you raped him?"

"What else was I supposed to do?! You can't just ask someone if they're a boy or a girl! That's so rude!"

"Right. So you raped him." Soul confirmed.

"Wait, you raped him?" Kid asked from the couch.

"Not exactly, I-"

"She might as well have." Maka said as she rubbed Crona's back, who decided to go back to his mumbling so he wouldn't have to relive what happened.

"So, was he raped, or-"

"No! No no no! I did not _rape_ him!" Patti cried out in her defense. The room went quiet again.

"So what _did_ you do?" Tsubaki asked.

"Okay, okay. I'll tell you. But don't interrupt until I'm done talking!" Patti said. She took a deep breath and began to tell the story of what happened.

"So, as I said before, I was confused and wanted to know the truth. So when Crona left to take a break I saw my chance and acted! I followed him into bathroom and... I, um... Kinda jumped him. I covered his mouth with one hand and stuck the other down the front of his dress thing! I didn't feel a distinct _boob,_ but Maka doesn't have any either, so it wasn't enough to prove his gender!"

Maka was about to protest but Soul gave her a look that said 'let her finish'.

"So I did the only thing I could do... I stuck my hand in between his legs! But before I could actually _feel _anything, Crona ran for the hills! ... There. I said it." she finished as she crossed her arms.

Silence...

"What the hell, Patti!?" Maka screeched as she helped Crona up from the floor. "You better apologize _right_ _now_ if you don't want to lose anymore brain cells then you already have!"

"Wow..." said Kid.

"Patti..." said Tsubaki.

Patti lowered her head and glanced at Crona. Patti's face was pink with shame and her eyes were filled with guilt as she said, "Crona... I'm really sorry..."

Crona nodded his head and looked around nervously. "I.. I f-forgive you. B-but really, you could have just a-asked..." He said as he downcast his eyes to the floor.

Patti let out a sigh of relief and the room was quiet again. This time, it was Black Star's turn to break it.

"So... What _are_ you, Crona?"

Silence...

"Black Star!" Maka exclaimed.

Tsubaki's cheeks turned pink as she looked at Black Star with disbelief. "Black Star, you can't just-"

"No." Crona said as he looked at everything _but _the people in the room. "It's okay... I didn't realize my gender was that much of a problem... I'll t-tell you.. If y-you want.."

The room went silent as everyone awaited Crona's next words.

**/./**

**[15 seconds later]**

**\.\**

"I KNEW IT!" Patti yelled at the top of her lungs.

A grinning Black Star turned to a wide eyed Soul.

"Mr. Evens, I believe you owe me some money."

Kid's palm connected with his forehead.

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**AN: There! My very first piece of ****fan fiction! :D I hope you liked reading it just as much as I liked writing it. Please review and feel free to use criticism because the only way to learn is to have your flaws pointed out! For the link to the artist who created the cover photo, go to my profile! I also want to thank Danny (Sakura1221) for helping me out, because if it wasn't for her, I would be tooooo afraid to post anything on this website! :D Thanks again! ;D**


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